We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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