fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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