sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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