ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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