Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
never play flip cup with pint glasses
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Even my vagina gasped.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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