She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
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You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
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Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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