two words...techno handjob
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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