She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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