so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize