Im at strip club and am horny
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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