Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
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You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
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I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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