An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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