I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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