its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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