did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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