hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
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I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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