You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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