Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize