i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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