I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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