Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I can't turn off my feet"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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