Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm too high and old for this...
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