i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
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So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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