why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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