Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
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I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
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The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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