Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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