Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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