Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize