capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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