hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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