I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize