there's paper in my vomit.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize