just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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