I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I am naked and annoyed.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize