Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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