it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize