Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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