grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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