I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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