WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize