Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize