where am i from again
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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