i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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