i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
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i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize