I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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