Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
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I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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