we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize