her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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