my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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