alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
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Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
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This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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